January 17th, 2017


Just came back from the morning yoga. B and I used up all the cheap trial sessions together and now we need to decide if we want to commit. I’m fairly sure we do.

It’s all going fast and surprisingly well. I mean, things are what they are. She is clearly really unhappy, and  I can now see that her aggressive invasion into my life is a way of asking for help. I don’t think she has anyone else to ask.  I’m scared of her, but I also feel sorry for her.

Anyways, I texted her last morning and we had a pleasant over-the-text chat, which lifted up my day.

So, to go a little deeper – Why did I abandon B? Why did B cling to mom? She sounds as if she had no choice. And I was just trying to save my butt. Well, I guess it’s time to leave that all behind and start anew.

Somewhere inside I know she has something – the depth of feeling – that my life is lacking.

Rainy and gloomy here, but at least warm.

Just to think out loud a bit more – people just don’t have their shit together. I see it all over. I see it with B, how she’e making herself miserable. I want to be different.

Hey, did you know this is the official be happy week?


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